Dear Coleen
My partner and I, with an 18-month-old child, find that our focus on parenting has significantly impacted our relationship, particularly in the realm of intimacy.
The lack of physical intimacy has become a noticeable issue for us, and the prolonged absence of it has made broaching the topic or engaging in it even more challenging. Fortunately, my boyfriend’s parents have graciously offered to care for our daughter for a weekend getaway, giving us a rare opportunity to be alone together. I am eagerly anticipating this break.
Despite my excitement, I also feel a sense of nervousness as this time away will lack the usual distractions we face daily – no interruptions from our child, no work obligations, and no household chores demanding attention.
I am concerned that the circumstances and environment might create pressure for us to engage in intimacy and for it to meet certain expectations.
We have not openly discussed our anticipations for the weekend apart from looking forward to some much-needed rest.
I believe that both of us may be feeling some level of anxiety, but we are both grateful for this opportunity to recharge.
Do you have any suggestions on how we can rekindle our connection during this weekend? I sense that it is a long overdue and crucial step for our relationship.
Coleen says
It might be beneficial for you to relax and enjoy yourselves together. However, my advice is not to dwell on it too much beforehand. Let the moment guide you – you could find yourselves immediately drawn to each other upon entering your accommodation, or you might simply collapse into bed and sleep for an extended period.
Let things unfold naturally, relieving yourself of any pressure by avoiding preconceived notions and expectations, except for embracing a well-deserved break. You might find an opportune time to discuss your relationship, but allow it to happen organically.
Conversations may delve deeper when you are at ease and free from typical distractions.
If you focus on anything, focus on enjoying each other’s company, sharing laughter, and having the freedom to eat and rest at your leisure.
Having a good time and genuinely relishing each other’s presence may naturally lead to intimacy.
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