Known for her straightforward approach on Loose Women, Coleen Nolan is now Britain’s candid agony aunt, offering guidance on sex, relationships, and life challenges.
Dear Coleen
After a couple of years together, my boyfriend’s actions deeply hurt me. He became overly familiar with another woman, and had I not discovered it, they might have engaged in an affair.
While they didn’t have a physical relationship, there was significant flirting and private meetings for drinks. The nature of their messages indicated it could have escalated.
Despite the hurt, I chose to give him a second chance out of love. Rebuilding trust was challenging, but we were managing until recently.
Recently, he went on a work trip for several days, which stirred up past issues as the woman involved was a former colleague, using work as an excuse to meet.
He insisted the trip was solely work-related, but social media revealed a different story with partying and drinking. When questioned, he reacted defensively, dismissing my concerns and feelings.
A realization struck me – I no longer desired to be with him and feel insecure constantly. Oddly, I feel liberated thinking about moving on alone after fighting to rebuild the relationship. While he wishes to continue, I am resolute in moving forward.
Is this a common reaction?
Coleen advises
Trust is fragile – one falsehood can rupture it, and rebuilding is arduous.
Perhaps your boyfriend concealed details of the trip to avoid conflict, but when striving to regain trust, honesty is paramount. Concealment undermines progress.
Is it strange to suddenly feel detached? Not really. The trip and his defensive response were eye-openers. If you cannot trust him fully and don’t wish to live in doubt, it’s natural to seek clarity.
Recognizing the truth after a struggle is empowering. Trust your emotions. You made efforts to mend the relationship, but sometimes, ending things is the right choice after a betrayal.
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